Friday, October 31, 2014
Today was a great day of reflection and clarity – A beautiful day outside appreciating nature, life, and myself. I traveled great distances today…physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
While I was enjoying the copious amounts of Vitamin D I was receiving, I recalled a game that my mother taught me when I was pre-school. (Yes, I can remember that far back). I would find a soft spot in the grass, lie on my back, and watch the wondrous clouds as they floated by. I was to identify as many images in the clouds that I could and then tell each one to my mother. I loved this “game”. Although I didn’t know it at the time, it taught me how to count, how to use my imagination, how to tell a story, and how to enjoy being outside. Not to mention, it gave a wonderful memory of spending time with my mother. No moment is too small or simple to create a lifelong memory.
It makes me grateful every day that I was blessed with such wonderful parents. I am who I am because of them. Yet, I had almost forgotten how strong they “grew” me. I had almost forgotten myself. I ALLOWED someone (a man) to make me forget how wonderful I am, to make me think that going through the grieving process of losing people you love was being negative, for not allowing me to be me. He made me feel like crap. And I let him. I allowed this, this form of abuse. I should have just let him slap me in the face; it might have been less painful. (He actually told me that “people shouldn’t be flying” when he knew that my father died in a plane crash- what type of person says that?).
The fog has lifted and the path is clear. He is out of my life. The lesson has been learned. I’m coming around again. Around to the person that I was born to be, the person that my parents envisioned I would be, the person I knew I could become even before I was born.
Feeling incredibly blessed for the many gifts I have – health, life, love, and friends. I’m grateful that I have remembered and embraced that I am a strong and beautiful soul. I know my purpose. I will NEVER allow anyone to try and rob me of myself again.